In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
