On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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