I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
