ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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