Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
