Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
