We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
