that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he shaved USA in his pubs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
