Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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