people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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