PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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