I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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