I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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