So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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