I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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