Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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