even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
