I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
