So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
