Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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