idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
