i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
