white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
