stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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