I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
