Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Drunk is not a location!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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