The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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