How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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