it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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