quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
