there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
