...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
