Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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