My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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