FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
