fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
