Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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