I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
