shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
