..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
