he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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