Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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