I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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