As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
