I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
