C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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