When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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