1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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