I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
