I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
