And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
