You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
