I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my liver is dry heaving
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
