So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
