you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
