So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
