am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
